Monday, December 19, 2011

The Creeps Of Christmas!

Here are some strange holiday traditions from around the world.



AUSTRIA

Krampus:


This creature actually dates back well before Christianity in Germanic areas; it apparently, later on during the Roman Empire gained some popularity in parts of the middle east, like Syria, because of it's likeness to the Grecian satyr.  These days Krampus kinda rides shot gun to St. Nick, taking care of the naughty kids, so Santa has more time to lavish on the good ones.  It is traditional for young men to dress up as Krampus during the first week of December, especially on December 5, and parade around on the streets attempting to scare the shit out of kids, but mostly it just turns into a party with lots of beer and shots Jager!

Who in the world can argue with this??

I Swear!  This looks like great Christmas Eve fun!

Did you know?:  traditional Christmas food in parts of Japan is KFC???!!  Seriously, this is such a big deal now that you have to make reservation weeks in advance to eat at KFC in Japan on Christmas.


The Netherlands

Also Belgium and clearly associated with both Krampus and with Scandinavian traditions to the north, is Zwarte Peit or Black Peter.  Although not a goat horned creature, Black Peter's role is almost identical to that of the Krampus, dealing with the naughty while St. Nick deals with the nice, and he is celebrated on the same evening, Dec. 5 as Krampus.  Though the true origin of this character lies with the marshall Scandinavian God Woden, unfortunately his character morphed into that of a "Moor" in the 19th century; and is even shown arriving by boat "from Madrid" each December 5.  There are even stories about these "Moors" carrying naughty children back to Spain in burlap sacks from some dread reason or another.



Did you know?:  That in Norway Christmas Eve is still considered to be night when witches and evil spirits come out to look for brooms to ride....so by all means HIDE those brooms!!

Iceland:

Moving on elsewhere in Germanic speaking areas, we come to Iceland and their Yule Lads.  OK despite that some of their various names translates into English as "spoon licker," "Meat Hook," or even "Door Sniffer" (yikes!), there are 13 of them and 13 is a seriously "lucky" or fortunate number here in the New World (almost all indigenous calenders are based on the number 13 in some way).  They have their wintry origins in pre-Christian Icelandic traditions.  These days, as you can imagine, they are used for all kinds of mischief.  Such a dudes dressed up as Santas playing drunken bar music!


This is "Sausage Stealer" 


Did you know?:  In the Czech Republic, unmarried women "tell" their own future's on Christmas Eve, by standing in a doorway with their backs to the door and throw shoes over their shoulders.  If the shoe land with toe facing door, marriage on the table next year, if not...oh well....

Andorra, Catalonia, Spain, Portugal, parts of Italy


Although the Wikipedia page politely has the Catalonian Spanish translation of the is in English as simply "yule log," it's more common name in Spanish is Caga tio, which many in the media translate as "pooping log"....but let's be honest here, it's literal translation is "Shit Log"!  For all it's weird sounding names, these things are actually kinda cute!!  Basically they are hollowed out logs, with holes for "feeding" it, a cute face painted on and some legs added on.  Starting on Dec. 8 you "feed" the log once a day, then cover it with the appropriately red colored blanket to make sure it doesn't catch a cold.  Then on Christmas eve or Christmas morning the log in place in or near the fire place and beaten until it "poops" out all the stuff it ate, most of which consists of various types of hard candies.  It is traditional, though not practiced as much any more, to have the last "poop" be a whole onion, garlic bulb, or God forbid!!, a salt herring!  There is even a song...which I will spare you!  These are so popular in some places that they are purchased from Yule Log manufacturers, rather than make them at home.  It's a bit strange, but I've read about these things for years now, and no one has remarked that they might be a possible connection to the modern Mexican pinata??







Did you know?:  There is supposed to be this charming tradition in Germany about a pickle ornament.  The story goes that parents hang a green pickle ornament deep inside the tree sometime on Christmas Eve and that the child who was the first to find the ornament on Christmas morning received a special present, and someone in the family, either the kid or an adult got to enjoy good luck for the next year.  Sounds great, sounds charming, sounds a little weird but really German....problem is...it's not real!  In fact, the whole Christmas morning thing really flies in the face of traditional German Christmas traditions.  As near and anyone can tell...Woolworth's made it up...to sell pickle shaped ornaments...why oh why??


Spain

Yet more Christmas pooping traditions given to us by the Spaniards, well the Catalans specifically...still looking at you Andorra!!  This one is even "worse" than that cute little log above.  This one is called the Caganer, or literally, "the shitterCaganer figurines as to the importance of this little stinker in their Christmas culture; it is  most likely an ancient symbol and probably goes a far ways back before Christianity.  It has something to do with getting the earth ready for planting in spring--Catalans figure, all that poop shouldn't go to waster (get it??) and can be put to good use for crops--granted the vast majority of the manure actually used, even in very ancient times, was from cattle not people, but it's symbol, and apparently one that Catalans are fiercely proud of.  In 2005 the city of Barcelona, citing recent by-laws adopted by the city against public defecation or urination (they didn't have these before 2005?), did not include the Caganer in the city's commissioned nativity scene, citing that the Caganer was now setting a bad example.  There was such a cultural outcry over this, the Caganer returned in 2006; as far as I know it's been included ever since.  Does this mean if you moon someone in Catalan speaking areas of Europe, you get cheered??





Never, ever, ever, ever show this to Woody Allen!!

Hey even Lord Vader has to go, right?
Did you know?:  That St. Nick was Greek?  He was born in the Greek city Myra, the ruins now located in southern Turkey near the modern city of Demre, which, despite it's Muslim majority seems to have a much affection for St. Nicholas as do Christians, even going to far as to even revere him as "Noel Baba" aka Father Christmas ("baba" being Arabic for father).  There is even a St. Nicholas Center.  Demre even has multiple St. Nicholas statues.






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